Author: Claus & Ingrid Dreyer

 


Young children tend to misbehave, cry when they need or want something that they cannot have, and throw tantrums. One important trait that a parent needs to instil in their children is self-control. Parents can, and must, teach their children to have self-control so that they have a sense of discipline. Parents are actually instrumental and crucial to a child’s development and growth, their interactions and relations help form the child’s character and eventually have an effect on their self-control, or lack thereof.

When parents discipline their children, the manner that this is done makes a big difference. The language the parent uses to talk to the child, the tone, and the consistency, are important for the child’s learning curve. Communication skills are very important, and parents must remember never yell at a child, to keep things calm and relaxed while carefully explaining things to them, and be consistent with rules. Parents must also use simple words, and give a lot of attention to their children.

The most important trait that parents need to possess especially during disciplining is patience. Children will learn in time, and as they reach the age where they go to school, it will be easier to teach them. Children also mimic what they see in their environment, so parents must act as a model to children’s behaviour. There are other more detailed ways that parents can help their children establish self-control, as discussed here.

Be moderate and allow your child to make mistakes. Do not be too strict or too lenient. Allow your child to make mistakes, or else he will not learn. Being too strict and punishing a child for making mistakes will only cause them to be introverted, afraid to voice their opinions, and afraid of you. If you are moderate in your style of disciplining, your child will soon learn the patterns and the differences in making the right and wrong choices in behaviour. 

If your child throws tantrums, give him a time out by putting him in a room where he cannot have what he wants but he only is confronted by his own frustration. Stay with him until he is calmed down. Make sure that when you give rules, they are firm and consistent, and do not make use of negative reinforcement or else your child will associate doing well with negative connotations. Moderate parenting will bring about a child that knows the consequences and responsibilities of their actions; and one that is confident in making the right decisions. Being too lenient on the other hand will not teach your child anything.

Ignoring non-destructive behaviour - Certain behaviours of children demand attention and disciplining, such as when they start to throw blocks or hit other people as a result of their frustration. During times like these, parents must learn to acknowledge the situation that the child is going through, and express that they understand the reasons for their frustration but that their actions are no way of justifying it. Only when their behaviour hurts other people should it demand adequate attention. For example, if a child mindlessly plays with his food instead of eating it, it would be more useful to ignore it.


Be selective with the behaviour, with which you draw attention to, because soon enough the child will forget about the wrong behaviour. When he is doing something good, give positive reinforcement and praise him. He will remember this and keep doing so.
Positive reinforcement - Always remember to give your child smiles, hugs and kisses. When he behaves, and when he makes a change in behaviour from throwing tantrums to contently sitting quietly, praise him by telling him, “Good job!” or other praise words. He needs affirmation and love from you as a parent; he needs to know that you are guiding him and that you love him. Remember that spoiling your child will not result in a happy child. If you can teach him self-control, he will be a happy child and you both will have a healthy, happy relationship.

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Claus and Ingrid are working from home and making their living with multiple streams of income.

www.PlugIn-ProfitSite.com/main-17432

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